Noah: The movie trailer…
Sooo …I didn’t get to my Sunday thought yesterday as I am dragging my ass around the place sick. Which doesn’t mean that I wasn’t thinking Sunday thought types of thoughts. Of all these thoughts the one that rattled through my head all day concerns the movie above. Yep, they are making a movie out of the Noah’s Ark story. My first thought was, “oh dear” who is gonna sign their acting career onto the bottom of that sure-to-be-a-hit with the right-wing, fundamentalists and a mock fest for the rest of us” movie? (The answer to that is Russel Crowe and Emma Watson).
The movie isn’t even out, and I am already mocking it. I mean seriously, it’s a bad press story for “God” from where I sit. Noah’s Ark , is in fact, one of my favourite Biblical stories to illustrate that if there is a god he is unquestionably not a loving one, he is a moral monster.
The Noah story is about god getting pissy; really, really pissy. People (the people he allegedly created) weren’t acting the way god thought they ought to be acting (a glitch in the programming) and after not too much thought, decided that genocide was the only way to go. Yep … bad people, maybe not every single one, but enough bad so that they all need to die; babies, children, animals, “I didn’t do nothin‘“plant life - the whole shebang… gonna DROWN your asssssses…
So how’s this movie gonna work?
Are we gonna see a bunch of “pre-genocide”shots of people being naughty, and god having “off screen, ‘yáll in big trouble now’, thought” shots? How will this movie rationalize god’s position, his view about humanity’s intrinsic, lack of worth, so unredeemable as to justify complete annihilation? (Of course, genocide is a morally indefensible position. Morals yeah, which clearly god doesn’t have).
Do we then pan to Noah and his family and see what a bunch of good, righteous, salvation worthy folk that they are? What is it about this family, that sets them apart from every other family, every other person and allows their survival? I am going to need a pretty powerful back story to stop me from thinking that god is a capricious, vengeful, fucked up being with a whole lot of anger management problems. (Don’t even get me started about the whole “building man in his image” thing).
Do we have to watch Noah build the Ark (because by all records, it took a loooong time to build that 500 foot boat. Of course, Noah was 600 years old at the time, so we have to cut the guy some slack)
Years until the FloodEventBible Reference120Countdown to the Flood beginsGenesis 6:3100Noah has Japheth, the first of his sons, when he was 500 years old.Genesis 5:32; 10:2198Noah has Shem who was 100 two years after the Flood.Genesis 11:10? Perhaps 95 or 96 the same time between Japheth and Shem.Ham was the youngest one born to Noah and was aboard the Ark so he was born prior to the Flood.Genesis 9:24;Genesis 7:13? Perhaps 20-40 years for all of the sons to be raised and find a wifeEach son was old enough to be married before construction on the Ark begins.Genesis 6:18~ 55-75 years (estimate)Noah was told to build the Ark, for he, his wife, his sons, and his sons’ wives would be aboard the Ark.Genesis 6:18Ark Completed?Gather food and put it aboard the Ark.Genesis 6:217 daysLoading the Ark.Genesis 7:1-40Noah was 600 when the floodwaters came on the earth.Genesis 7:6
We would end up with a tentative range of about 55 to 75 years for a reasonable maximum time to build the Ark. Of course, it could be less than this depending on the age that Noah’s sons took wives….
- How Long Did It Take For Noah To Build The Ark?
Is it just me, or does all that sounds really damn tedious?
I do hope we get to see just exactly how Noah gathers up and stuffs two of every single everything onto the boat. That could be interesting … I mean, talk about your multi tasking! Collect two of every everything from around the ENTIRE world and get them all on the boat in an orderly fashion. And well … not to mention, size issues ….
And then the rain starts. Rain can be interesting, if its like a “Perfect Storm” sort of ran. Who doesn’t like a natural disaster, am I right?
But this movie going to have to show the devastation of genocide, because make no mistake, Noah’s Ark is not a story of a “natural” disaster, but is in fact a story about willful slaughter.
God did it, he decided, his fault. God’s bad.
Mother’s screaming, babies dying, men impotently running around unable to do anything, animals panicking and … dying, dying, dying … I imagine you can get a bit of film mileage from this, but really … how long does it take to drown everyone?
Because after they are all dead - we have got 40 days and 40 nights worth of rain to watch Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah’s wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, living the salvation life, altogether, on the ark before we get to white doves, rainbows and a sorta clean (but not really) slate.
I’m pretty sure however this story plays out, it will be cleaned up, polished and … sanitized. I’m not feeling the interest BUT from an atheist perspective, maybe this movie is just the thing we need to definitively illustrate, once and for all, through story telling, why religion is stupid and why if there was a god, he would suck.
Rob DenBleyker, co-founder of the comic, Cyanide and Happiness, recently had his Facebook page banned for 12 hours because of the comic above. Ironically it had been posted on his Facebook page for 4 months, along with a variety of other comics that rest on the dark and twisty side. Apparently some religious folk tripped over the comic, found it offensive, and waged a campaign to get it removed. A bunch of ” we’re offended” complaints to Facebook and SHAZAM, DenBleyker is in the naughty chair.
Personally I find the joke pretty mild, and as far as religious humour goes, having someone use the cross as a piece of exercise equipment, is, as I said, small ‘taters. I don’t always like Cyanide and Happiness jokes. Sometimes they are a little tasteless for my emmm taste; jokes about abortion or suicide have the capacity to go flat.
However, I don’t get my panties in a twist, or ask my friends to write complaints to Facebook. Nup, I pull up my Big Girl Panties …
and I click the little X at the right hand top of the screen and carry on with my internet journey, cheerfully accepting that we don’t all have the same sense of humour, and not everyone is gonna laugh at the same stuff. My humour can be dark and twisty. People don’t always get me either. So it goes.
It’s a worry to me that anyone can pull the “I’m offended card” and shut another person down. It’s especially worrying when the issue at hand is religion – because lets face it, one’s as ludicrous as the next. Making fun of the cross is about as serious as making fun of Santa’s reindeer – oh wait, that happened and we didn’t shut down all things Rudolph.
I think Stephan Fry has the best grip on this situation so I will shut up and post him…
And in other great people’s thoughts, I leave you with this;
” Like I said, this comic was viewed by a million people. It would be fair to say most of them weren’t fans of my page, or readers of Cyanide & Happiness. They saw it on their news feeds due to others sharing it. I offended some very specific people, the kinds of people who don’t like my comics to begin with, and those people filed reports. Enough of them did so that Facebook banned the comic, and banned me.
That’s kind of a weird protocol. The largest social platform (which makes it a platform for art and ideas, too) in history blocks content and threatens creators based solely on the opinions of a minority that doesn’t even care for said content to begin with. I think you can do better, Facebook.”
- Rob DenBleyker, co-founder of the comic, Cyanide and Happiness
I actually find all of this very irritating considering how long it took for Facebook to take the issue of hate speech not just against women but certainly including them. It took a lot of concerted pressure for facebook to put the halt on pages that celebrated or made light of rape, domestic violence and sexual degradation of women. It was ok to threaten to rape, stalk or even kill a woman /women but its not okay to post a pretty ho hum comic? Notice here that I am making a distinction between freedom of speech, and freedom of hate.
Seems to me Facebook have some collective panties in need of pulling … up.
As an atheist, I am angry that we live in a society in which the plain truth cannot be spoken without offending 90% of the population.”
- Sam Harris
This week’s Sunday thought is gonna be a shorty – simple and to the point that is.
I was chatting with a bunch of INTP (assume thinking ) people earlier this week. Someone had asked the question, do you think that people who are religious are less intelligent?
Yes. Yes I do.
I realize that may come across as intolerant, and I am well aware that we (atheists and free thinkers) are generally careful to walk some politically correct line on that question. I cannot be fucked.
At the point people believe shit with no evidence whatsoever, I have issues with their intelligence. When they persist in believing things despite substantial evidence (think evolution) to the contrary, I definitely label that as unintelligent. When I see people organizing their lives around invisible friends, who provide them guidance through “prayer” … I think mental illness at best, definite stupidity at worst.
I’m sorry, you’ll have to shove political correct-ness on this question. Yes, yes, YES I think people who believe in religion are less intelligent. I auto deduct 20 IQ points as soon as someone tells me they are religious. As far as I am concerned wilfully choosing to believe in religion is opting for a lobotomy.
Some people are indoctrinated into religion, maybe even the most of religious people are. I feel for them. It’s not their ‘fault’. My hope springs eternal that anyone willing to question has the capacity to be cured of the stupid that is religion.